What got you here on feedback

Feedforward

Take for example the concept of “Feedforward” – an exercise to allow people to get effective feedback from people.

I’ll let Goldsmith describe it:

Feedforward asks you to do four simple steps:

1. Pick the one behavior that you would like to change which would make a significant, positive difference in your life. For example, I want to be a better listener.
2. Describe this objective in a one-on-one dialogue with anyone you know. It could be your wife, kids, boss, best friend, or coworker. It could even be a stranger. The person you choose is irrelevant. He or she doesn’t have to be an expert on the subject. …
3. Ask that person for two suggestions for the future that might help you achieve a positive change in your selected behavior–in this case, becoming a better listener. If you’re talking to someone who knows you or who has worked with you in the past, the only ground rule is that there can be no mention of the past. Everything is about the future. For example, you say, I want to be a better listener. Would you suggest two ideas that I can implement in the future that will help me become a better listener? …
4. Listen attentively to the suggestions. Take notes if you like. Your only ground rule: You are not allowed to judge, rate, or critique the suggestions in any way. You can’t even say something positive, such as, “That’s a good idea.” The only response you’re permitted is, Thank you.

That’s it. Ask for two ideas. Listen. Say thank you.⊕ (Goldsmith 2007)

The brilliance here lies in the rigid template that focuses on the future and asks for concrete ideas. This structure encourages more openness on both parties.

In soliciting feedback for yourself, the only question that works–the only one!–must be phrased like this: “How can I do better?” Pure unadulterated issue-free feedback that makes change possible has to (a) solicit advice rather than criticism, (b) be directed towards the future rather than obsessed with the negative past, and (c) be couched in a way that suggests you will act on it; that in fact you are trying to do better.⊕ (Goldsmith 2007)

The receiver usually responds well to future suggestions and generally doesn’t take them as personal attacks. In addition, they can listen more effectively because the burden of a fitting acknowledgementor a clever rebuttal

is lifted by the restriction to use only a naked “Thank You.”

The giver perceives this sincerity on the part of the receiver and is usually more willing to offer concrete ideas.

The best thing about feedforward is that it overcomes the two biggest obstacles we face with negative feedback–the fact that successful people in dominant positions don’t want to hear it (no matter what they say, bosses prefer praise to criticism) and that their subordinates rarely want to give it (criticizing the boss, no matter how ardently he or she tells you to “bring it on,” is rarely a great career move).

Getting peer buy-in

His method strongly relies on support from peers. In this way, it reminds me a lot of AA.

I then present these coworkers with four requests. I call them The Four Commitments. I need them to commit to:

1. Let go of the past.
2. Tell the truth.
3. Be supportive and helpful–not cynical or negative.
4. Pick something to improve yourself–so everyone is focused more on “improving” than “judging.”’⊕ (Goldsmith 2007)
   
   

This 4th point about asking peers to also improve something is sublime: it turns the dynamics from judging to mutual accountability.